I nearly fell off my seat when I finished reading this.
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a
pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.
The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"
The owner says, "How about a cat?"
The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I
want a pet that can do everything!"
The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing
everything, but okay, I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's
immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried,
and put away; the countertops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the
floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.
He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."
Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet
has been vacuumed; the furniture cleaned and dusted; the pillows on
the sofa plumped; plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is
the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can
Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me
The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later...no
centipede. 20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later...no
centipede. By this point the man is wondering what's going on. So he
goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting
right outside the door.
The man says, "Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45
minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?"
The centipede says, "I'm going, I'm going, I'm just putting on my